YWAM Lancaster

Feel free to reach out directly for further questions, support, or resources!

Session 1: Serious Sin & True Freedom.

My Journey and some overarching truths about porn, freedom, and those who are struggling

My Story

I first saw pornography (National Geographic/ Surfer Magazines) at age 7 – and spent 20 years of my life with intense sexual addiction and identity issues. I lived a double life as an outspoken Christian and a secret sex addict (listen to my journey here) until my 3rd year of marriage. After 20 years of captivity, at age 27, in 2008 I reluctantly and unwillingly enrolled in Pure Life Ministries Overcomers-At-Home program, along with my wife. Afraid I would lose my deposit on the program if I didn’t keep up with the daily Bible readings and workbook assignments, I thought I could fake-it-to-make-it for the first weeks and months.

However, by the power of God’s Word I realized the truth of God’s Word that I was indeed a new creation, old things having passed away and all things become new! There was an unmistakable change in my heart and mind.

It was shown to me like my head was forced in a pool of water (The Word of God) until I drowned (dead to self) and then had no choice but to drink in the Water of Life that renewed my mind and flushed my old self, desires and flesh away.

My wife and I continued our journey of building trust together in the Lord over the next seven years until we felt God calling us to begin Broken Free in 2015 with a desire to see other men, women and marriages broken free through Christ!

You were not destined to live as a struggler or settle for mere victory. Complete freedom is possible!

Scripture to meditate on:

Psalms 119:65-72
Jeremiah 33:3
Matthew 22:36-39
Galatians 2:20
Galatians 5:1
2 Corinthians 3:16-18
2 Corinthians 5:17
2 Corinthians 7:10
2 Corinthians 10:5
Ephesians 4:2
Acts 3:19
Romans 8:13
James 1:21-22

Freedom is not the absence of temptation - it is the death of the struggle. It comes by daily dependence and pursuit of intimacy with Jesus.

Broken Free

It’s extremely serious in the eyes of God… AND there is hope and freedom from porn, lust, masturbation, and fantasy.

Truths about porn, lust, masturbation, and fantasy and those who struggle with it:

Culture has diluted and desensitized us so much that we accept it as ‘normal’ and ‘permissible’ in the church. (Yes, some church leaders and authors even call masturbation and porn beneficial.)
Porn users believe it’s okay as long as it doesn’t hurt others.
Biblically speaking, freedom from porn, lust, masturbation, and fantasy is not based on dissecting “root” issues but rather addressing “abiding” issues (John 15).
Biblically, adultery happens in the heart… and sometimes in person.
Sexual immorality is the most pervasive threat to the bride of Christ; the prostitution of his body.
Porn is progressive and totally destructive at its end.
Marriage doesn’t make porn or fantasy go away (neither does masturbation)
It’s rooted in pride and selfishness.
Embracing the dying process will be difficult and hard – and usually more than a few months… typically a few years.
Deliverance MAY be necessary, but repentance is ALWAYS necessary.
Porn can be demonic and is always evil.
Masturbation without lusting is not a goal or a victory – because masturbation is already sin as it’s selfish.
If you saw sin for what it was, you would hate it. As you see it for what it is, you will hate it.
Not all guilt is from satan. Not all temptation is from satan.
Temptation and struggling is not the same thing.
You cannot understand sonship if you do not understand God’s mercy first. A revelation of your need for daily repentance is a prerequisite to understanding God’s grace whereby He calls you a son/daughter.
Look past the symptoms. You can’t stop pursuing what the heart loves. Focus on the heart.
The solution is not a program – it’s a daily dependent relationship.
There is freedom from the struggle – only thru Christ’s death and life by the Spirit.
Homosexuality is not a special case of porn/sexual issue. It’s all a sin and repentance issue.
Most will stop pursuing freedom when the pain of sin subsides.
Consequence-driven repentance is not the same as sinfulness-of-sin repentance.
Most want to avoid consequences more than renew their heart and mind… we never really embrace the dying process unto death – we just like the idea of dying.
It’s not death you are afraid of – it’s the dying process.
Your goal should not be to stop looking at porn – it should be to love Jesus.

Your goal should not be to stop looking at porn - it should be to love Jesus.

Broken Free

Session 2: Resources & Tools

Single vs. Married vs. Wives, Suggested Approaches, Tools, and Resources

Signs it might be a porn/ sexual sin issue

Listen to the Lord’s promptings (in your spirit, in going/calling/visiting/looking into things)
Obvious: text, image, web, wandering eyes, no movie censorship, sexual intimacy issues, fantasy

Over-reacting when you suggest any boundaries on the above

Anger issues/ outbursts (pride and selfishness)
Lying
Late night working/ all-night work patterns
Arrogance/ boasting (pride)

Ways you can bring up the topic:

Do you have a problem looking at pornography?

3 types of sexual sinners / porn users:

Consider using some of these quiz resources to help people see where they are at.

Curious

exposed and exploring due to common cravings of the flesh (sin)

Comfort / Craving

seekers of porn to pacify pain or avoid confronting reality or past / prisoners

Captive

hopeless consumers / hypocrites / captives

There are no cookie-cutter solutions and no program that can renew a mind or heart.

Ministry Resources

Proven Men

12 Week Workbook for Men, Women Struggling with Porn, and Wives with daily Bible Study, reading, writing and journaling. $40. Solo or in pairs or small group.

Pure Life Ministries

Overcomers At Home Program (12 Weeks with Bible Study, Weekly Calls with IABC Certified Biblical Counselor, $800 per person, Intense Bible Workbooks, reading, and accountability) Broken Free helps support with scholarships. Solo or as couple.

Covenant Eyes

Online Device Accountability $16/mo

Conquer Series

10 Weeks. $35. Small group. My opinion – for someone who has never talked about their issues with others… but not for discipleship or Biblical counseling. It’s very psychology-man-knowledge infused. Entertainment driven. Find a local group here.

Walking Together - Tips & Approaches To Consider

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

⁹Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹²Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

For Single Men & Women

SHORT TERM CHALLENGE: Discern commitment to the process. Ex – 10 Day Challenge
COMMITTED? MID-LEVEL COMMITMENT: Proven Men 12 Week Study
CONNECTED: Connect with brotherhood/local or online groups

Digging Deeper: Walk of Repentance PL Workbook & At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry Book Study.

Option: Overcomers At Home by Pure Life

For Married Couples

I believe men should be willing to share anything/everything with their wives – at the right time(s)
I believe marriage is a tool for sanctification of both people
I believe a spouse can see what you are unwilling to see

SHORT TERM CHALLENGE: Discern commitment to the process. (Conversation with pastor other couple to bring them into the light. Purchase a suggested book. Attend a conference.)
COMMITTED? You’ll need help from Jesus – and likely a third-party due to all the common reactions and excuses and lies and deceit you’ve been making thus far in your marriage. (Ex: OCAH from PL or Personal Study like Proven Men / Proven Wives*)
CONNECTED: Be open with local trusted couple or church leaders to stay accountable for being daily in the Word individually and together.

For Wives

Realize you are not alone. While the majority of resources and support are there for men, there are solid tools to lead you to Jesus (Ex: When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart Book).
You need Jesus as much as He needs Jesus to walk thru this journey. You will need support and help holding onto Jesus (Ex: OCAH for Wives or Proven Wives Workbook is a new resource).
CONNECTED: Pray for God to provide a woman to encourage you in the journey (Ex: a local wife who can testify to God’s faithfulness in the midst of her husband’s impure decisions.)

It was for FREEDOM that you were set free...

Galatians 5:1

Key to Freedom.

Jesus. Daily.

Fix your eyes on Jesus… daily – the author and perfector of your faith… Hebrews 12:2
Daily intimacy with Jesus must be your greatest aim (1st commandment)

Online Quiz/Resources

Proven Men Purity Quiz: https://www.provenmen.org/free-purity-quiz/

Broken Free’s Porn Addiction Test: https://brokenfree.org/porn-addiction-test/

Conquer Series Quiz: https://conquerseries.com/sast/

10 Day Challenge: https://brokenfree.org/10-day-challenge/

Up for a 10 Day Challenge?

Daily Unique Video Overview

10 Reading Challenges

Daily Reflection (Written/Prayer)

Connect with Justin

If you’d like to chat or get in touch – just ask.

My cell is 717-371-7041